I thought that Lamott’s Shitty First Draft essay was very interesting. It gave me a new idea on how I should write my essays. I would agree that sometimes I just write random sentences that have no place in my essay, but I usually just go back and delete them after. I think that instead of trying to write a perfect first draft that I should just write a terrible one first to get out all the bad ideas. When I go to write an essay, I just write and I know it’s not going to be good, but I just got back have and change all the bad parts. I think that in order to get an essay that you actually like you have to go through the terrible then the bad and then finally they good will come from it all.

Revision Plan

My plan to revise my essay is to go back and look at the comments that my peers made and the notes that I gathered and fix what needs to be fixed. Then reread the essay and change any parts that I don’t feel are very strong or relate to my thesis and replace it with new support. Then maybe have my roommate read it over and give her opinion to make sure it all makes sense and has a nice, clear picture. Finally, make any last edits to grammar or sentence structure for the final revision.

1. Reread the comments my peers made on the essay
2. Elaborate more on second to last paragraph about language
3. Add introduction for the authors when mentioned in essay
4. Clean up transitions from paragraphs
5. Take out some quotes or add more of an explanation/opinion
6. Talk more about health and how it relates to metaphors

I think that my overall concern is talking more about health and how metaphors affect it which will support my thesis. Also, explaining the quotes a little better because I put them in there but did not go into depth, which may confuse the reader. I need to explain why these quotes are important and how they strengthen my argument. I think that the issue overall was that I didn’t communicate my thoughts clearly, which made it more difficult to understand my point of view. I need to elaborate and communicate more in my essay.